Updated: Sep 3, 2020
To have great sex lives: Women Need More Worthiness
In the sexuality context, worthiness is the belief that your sexuality and your body are normal, healthy, and natural; and that you are worthy and deserving of pleasure. That you are enough....but not too much! In our culture, females receive negative, often sexist, messages about our sexuality, bodies and desires. Religion and many parents actively shame budding or expressed female sexuality. Sex coaching involves not only openly discussing and normalizing sex, but actually celebrating your desires and fantasies. This is a journey that gives women something they’ve often not experienced, “permission” to enjoy their bodies and sensuality.
Worthiness means you don’t need a perfect body, relationship or ‘performance’ to enjoy pleasure. While as women, we often dwell on the look and size of the body, it's our confidence, enthusiasm and enjoyment that makes us an exciting lover. Even putting language to sexuality is freeing; rather “down there,’ or derogatory terms, honor your lady parts with words of your choice like pussy, yoni, or flower, or the factual simplicity of vulva or vagina.
Your coach encourages your self-care; that is, doing activities daily that you enjoy, that keep your love and worthiness tank full, even in challenging times This may be a hobby, time spent in nature, or socializing; it’s your choice, but please choose something; a stressed-out, pleasure-less woman can hardly enjoy her sensuality. Relaxing breathwork and visualizations set the tone for coaching sessions, and recordings are provided for self-practice at home for grounding, embodiment and stress release. Your coach provides compassionate support, helping you reinforce self-acceptance and self-love; the belief that you are lovable now, and do not have to be perfect to be lovable.
Emotions and beliefs that hold you back from pleasure are explored and released. The main repressors are shame and guilt. Researcher Brene Brown defines shame as the “intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.”Shame is also the belief that you are alone. Fortunately, “Shame cannot survive being spoken,” Brown says. “It cannot survive empathy.” Sex and intimacy coaching provides a woman with a loving, non-judgmental, supportive person who stays connected with you while you sort through issues of guilt and shame. While listening with empathy is deshamifying and liberating on its own, your coach can do one better than a therapist in this area--your coach joins you, sharing a similar experience of personal shame, (I’ve got some doozies) letting you know that you are not alone. “Shame-sharing” in an atmosphere of empathy liberates, and in addition, exposes negative messages from society to a counter-narrative.
Build worthiness and permission to enjoy shame-free, guilt-free sexuality! It's time to enjoy your body, your pleasure and your lover! You DESERVE it!
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