My theme Six Things Women Need for Connected, Passionate Intimacy is popular! I'll be presenting it as an "Idea Worth Sharing" at TEDx Breckenridge in October. Here's a preview along with a podcast interview I did on this topic:
Women Need Knowledge, Emotional Connection, Worthiness and Confidence, Time, Embodiment and Creativity! Ladies, are you (or your man) frustrated with your s*x life?
Maybe you only do "doggie style?" Your Man on all fours begging? While you play dead?
If you’ve lost interest in s*x, You are not alone, as four in 10 women have low desire, low pleasure, even pain. Why is this? Female pleasure is misunderstood, it is an art and a science. Fortunately, it’s also a skill that you are never too old to learn.
What about S*x ed? School or parents probably taught you the mechanics, with an underlying message of don’t do it! You weren’t taught the art oft lovemaking, pleasure and connection, Or worse, you or your lover learned everything you know from p0 rn….where there is no no romance, no foreplay; there’s not even a plot…
Yet for women, our pleasure is largely a mental and emotional experience, for it to be wonderful, we need to feel safe and relaxed. Then we can bring on the “turn on” and arousal, which are different for every woman, and often, each day….
As our lover is not a mind reader, it’s up to us to know what kind of touch or play we might like. If you’ve never told him, he’s probably been doing to you, what he wishes you would do to him.
For great intimacy, women need to set a pace that works for us. If a man’s arousal is like a microwave, a woman is more like a crock pot. Its normal for "innies" to take 10 times as long as to be fully aroused as "outies!" And with the average s*x act taking only 6-8 minutes, its over before we are even warmed up.
We also need to put ourselves in a mindset where we are open to enjoyment and connection. If we are all "up in our heads" with stress, guilt, negative body issues, resentment, worried about our performance, or even distracted by those socks on the floor, we are not going to have a loving encounter, and we’ll lose interest. Our lover will feel undesired, and often emotionally shut down, get nasty, and generally not be his best self.
Your intimate relationship has the potential to be your biggest source of joy... or heartache. So ladies, why not give yourself a sensual education that is focused on your pleasure? To learning what you like, and how to put yourself in a mindset where you actually relax, play, and have a good time? To being sensual explorers together.
Focusing on your pleasure is not selfish because if your man is like most, he wants nothing more than for you to feel desire and enjoyment with him. And that’s largely up to you.
Wishing you Lots of LOVE!
****If you are craving more intimacy, whether physical or emotional, I can help! I invite you to a conversation, book a free call below.
I'm interviewed by a marriage counselor specializing in Christian marriages on this podcast where we discuss and get a man's very positive view on What WOMEN need!