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SEVEN Things Women Need for Great Lovemaking in Long-Term Relationships

Updated: Feb 24


I'm a sex therapist and intimacy specialist for women who want to create sexy, loving, connected marriages. Am I being audacious in saying that women need the same thing? Consider that we share a similar biology, estrogen dominance and cultural conditioning, watch the video or read the post and tell me, which one of these things could you totally do without? Or do you need all of them?

For connected, pleasurable lovemaking, (as opposed to just "having sex," which mammals and porn stars can do...emotional connection makes the difference between s ex and lovemaking) women need:

Knowledge, Emotional Connection, Worthiness and Confidence, Time, Embodiment, Sexual Fitness and Creativity!

Knowledge

Women need sexual education that is pleasure-based. For instance, did you know that your brain is the most important sex organ, and that you can rewire it to experience more pleasure via practice, touch and imagination? That good sex releases feel-good hormones that bond you and your partner, and that medications and a stressful lifestyle will zap your sex drive?

Coaching provides a personalized education so you not only know the facts, but also your own body, preferences, turn-ons and arousal cycles as well as dislikes and boundaries. Then you learn to communicate your preferences to your partner in a connected way, as your sexual pleasure map may be complex, and your lover is not a mind reader!

Worthiness and Confidence

As females we receive negative messages about our sexuality, bodies and desires. Shame and guilt are released in an atmosphere of empathy and support. Give yourself ‘permission’ to enjoy your beautiful, sensual self, and celebrate your desires and fantasies! Keep your spirit and self-love tank full with self-care activities. Worthiness means you don’t need a perfect body, relationship or performance to enjoy pleasure, because confidence, skill and enjoyment are what make you a bliss-filled lover.

Emotional Connection

Sex with deep emotional connection is life’s greatest reward. It can be a challenge to create the safety, trust and desire that both partners crave. In coaching we explore what you like, and then how to best communicate this to your partner, in a connecting and playful way, rather than the dreaded, ‘we need to talk.’ If your lover is a male, coaching will demystify male-female differences, the desire and arousal cycle, and the sex-intimacy link, where many women need to feel cherished and emotionally fulfilled before being in the mood, and many men don't open up emotionally without sexual needs being met prior.

Time

A great sex life does not just happen; it needs priority and time. ‘Mutually spontaneous desire’ is a myth, and there is nothing wrong with planning sexy times and prioritizing lovemaking. Coaching keeps you enthusiastic!

As women, we need time for arousal. If a man’s sexual response is like a microwave, ours is a crockpot; our anatomy needs time to be primed. Rethink the quickie and abandon faking; satisfaction is found once you’ve discovered turn-ons, techniques, rituals and touch you like--then apply them in a slow, sensuous way.

Embodiment

A top challenge for many women is getting ‘out of your head’ and into pleasure--banishing distracting thoughts, judgment, performance anxiety and furtively chasing orgasms. Mindful lovemaking is key to feeling relaxed and aroused.

Sensation and focus are revived and enhanced through mindful sensation practices, which use elements of breath, movement, touch, sound and imagination. Guided visualization, breathwork, energetic dance and home practice help you break out of your thought patterns and connect you with your heart, body and sensuality.

Sexual Fitness

Bodies can go numb or indifferent from inactivity and neglect. A pain-free and “excitable” body requires care, compassion, and tone to thrive. Exercise reduces stress and boosts mood, body confidence, abilities, and sexual function. Good blood flow and tone contributes to heightened arousal and climax.

Creativity

How do you know what you love if you’ve never tried it? Coaching is a place to explore both the emotions you want to feel from sex, as well as the scenarios that turn you on. We all have certain conditions in our heads that we want met for optimal sex; conditions related to ourselves, our partner and the setting. Explore feelings that intrigue you, perhaps you want to feel cherished, powerful, playful, naughty, spiritual, what else? Now play with the themes that get you there--passion, romance, energetic, submission and dominance, plus the many forms of non-intercourse play and stimulation.

A disappointing intimate life is common, as female sexual pleasure and intimate emotional connection are learned skills! Transform yourself and your relationship with intimacy and relationship coaching, and unlock the power, connectedness and self-expression of your deepest intimacy!

I welcome the opportunity to get acquainted via heart-to-heart call and see how coaching may enhance your intimate life forever!


https://linktr.ee/MoreIntimacyhttps://linktr.ee/DebbieLoveCoachLove,Debbie

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