What Can Self Care do for your Sex Life?
And why will your man thank you for doing it?
Self-care means doing things you enjoy, make you happy, feel alive. It is taking care of, and being kind to yourself. And doing this on a regular, preferably daily, basis.
But when we have so many things we have to do, and others to take care of, isn’t prioritizing self-care selfish or frivolous?
No! As the woman you set the tone for the family. If mama's not happy, nobody’s happy! Especially not your man!
You may even look at your man and think, I’m not happy….it must be his fault!
The truth is, we are responsible for our own happiness! With self care, you stop relying on your man for your happiness.
You’ll notice that your happiness does not depend upon your man and what he does or doesn’t do. It takes pressure off him.
This proves to your man you can be made happy, and gives him ideas on how to please you.
And as your man wants nothing more than his woman happy and in a good mood, your happiness draws him to you like a magnet!
In coaching, there is an adage, “If you are not happy with something in your life, change it. And if you cannot change it, change the way you think about it!”
Your coach helps you brainstorm and holds you accountable for doing things you enjoy every day. Helps you appreciate how good taking care of self is for your relationship, sex life, and how it attracts your man.
If overwork is preventing you from your pleasure and self care, consider this: you are replaceable on your job; not with your man or children. If you suffer from harried woman syndrome: you may need to acknowledge that you cannot successfully do it all and or have it all/do everything and do it well. Delete some of it. Just not your man or children.
How else will self care help your sex life? Your brain is your biggest sex organ, so if you're turned-off in life, you're definitely turned off in the bedroom!
If you are ‘all up in your head” with your stress, work, and to-do lists invading your head and bedroom….it will be near impossible for your man to please you...he is not a magician! It’s up to you to show up in a relaxed and loving mindset!
Self care also makes you feel good, more worthy and confident. Self-worth fuels your feelings of desirability, and confidence is sexy!
Having a separate passion draws your man towards you. Marriage author Esther Perel says we need some mystery to ignite passion.
Here are some examples of self care, listening to your favorite music, singing or dancing, socializing, pedicure, walking in nature, napping, bubble bath. Enjoying ice cream, and really savoring it. Sleeping in. Wearing clothes that make you feel good. Exercise and yoga.
Experiment with things that activate your senses. Scents, textures, soothing sounds, tastes, beauty.
Turn something you do anyways into self care by savoring and appreciating it: turn your shower into pleasure, gaze at the clouds, enjoy tea, sniff flowers, touch your man’s hair or skin.
Also, consider a 30 second or 3 minute pleasure pause throughout the day. With practice, a meditation or mindfulness routine will make you a more attuned and pleasure-filled lover.
Erotic self touch, slowly and sensually or using a toy relaxes you and primes you for lovemaking.
Notice these suggestions don’t involve TV or scrolling. Screen time is more a numbing behavior than self-care and studies show it can detract from genuine pleasure.
If you are like me, you like to multitask in life, so why not in self-care?
I like spending time with my dogs and making them happy. Exercise makes me feel good, nature makes me happy. I enjoy learning new things. So almost every day I walk my dogs in nature while listening to educational podcasts! Quadruple self-care!
So now that you see the many benefits to your Sex Life and Intimacy, do you feel more motivated to take care of yourself? Do you need support and a guide in creating your ideal love life? I invite you to set up a call with me!